I SAID NO

I SAID NO

Mom, he is bad news said my daughter

But that was putting the train behind the caboose

As my life and love and trust were already being slaughtered

Because he had already started his abuse

You said take your clothes off thrice

You must have been hard of hearing

Because I said no thrice

But to you that had no bearing

I couldn’t look into your eyes

For all the times that I said “No”

You just kept looking at me with hungry eyes

It was all becoming so surreal you know

It’s hard to remember my clothes coming off

But I remember you laying me down softly

You wanting to pop off

And I wanting you to leave me

For my very life I was afraid

If I had yelled or screamed you know

So the choices were made

That I would not be thrown through my bedroom window

Wishing I could scream and someone hear me

And then I don’t remember no more

For it was Jesus who came and took me

So I would not feel the pain no more

I watched you from the top of my room

Everything was in a haze of yellow

I did not hear what was going on in the room

I had no feelings and everything was mellow

Jesus had his arms around me

He said that everything will be OK

I understood that this was meant to be

And there on the bed I was to lay

I don’t remember you leaving

My thoughts were spinning as I lay there

Something surely left my heart bleeding

What had happened was not quite clear

I remember feeling dirty

Not one call did I make to you

Showers and baths they must have been thirty

Confusing thoughts was what I had of you

For you this was not the only time

Once you threw me over my furniture

It would not be the last time

But this time was your overture

My husband I did tell

Bizarre he thought it was

Leaving me to live in hell

He said it was a story I made up just because

I thought that no one would believe me

You were an ex- police officer

And so your story would have more credibility

This was certainly not the justice that I deserve

Two young girls I was to raise

And for them I was to be silent

The rest of my life was a maze

Preachers and Pastors and clergy I begged for my repent

They told me that it was my fault

For it was how I was dressed or what I was wearing

One told me that I got a job outside the home and that was my fault

Because of that I deserved what I was bearing

No one understood me when I said No

Through a glass I felt that I was shouting

How many times should I have said “NO?”

I did not dress the way they were recounting

It was the end of fall

I was wearing corduroy’s and a thick heavy sweater

Nothing revealing that is all

I was simply dressed for the weather.

I was not dressed to share my goods

Three times I said NO

Yet no one has really understood

No one would believe me you know

Everything was not OK

My life was changed by force

You didn’t have a high price to pay

With you there was no remorse

You took my innocence and my trust

You shot through my heart with your bow and arrow

So telling my story is a must

Girls all over the world are abused like this take a hard blow

Many girls have their own stories that began when they said “No”

Some are untold and in silent they live their lives

No doesn’t mean yes, it means NO

You better listen because most of us are not telling lies

Trust is broken and she cannot reveal

Can’t you hear me when I say “No”

So her whole life there is something missing that she cannot feel

And her words were disbelieved the moment that she said, “No”

This happened a many a year

This woman that I am still can’t believe

That there is still the victim’s fear

In today’s society, that has supposedly grown so, how can this still be?