Mom, he is
bad news said my daughter
But that
was putting the train behind the caboose
As my life
and love and trust were already being slaughtered
Because he
had already started his abuse
You said
take your clothes off thrice
You must
have been hard of hearing
Because I
said no thrice
But to you
that had no bearing
I couldn’t
look into your eyes
For all
the times that I said “No”
You just
kept looking at me with hungry eyes
It was all
becoming so surreal you know
It’s hard
to remember my clothes coming off
But I
remember you laying me down softly
You
wanting to pop off
And I
wanting you to leave me
For my
very life I was afraid
If I had
yelled or screamed you know
So the
choices were made
That I
would not be thrown through my bedroom window
Wishing I
could scream and someone hear me
And then I
don’t remember no more
For it was
Jesus who came and took me
So I would
not feel the pain no more
I watched
you from the top of my room
Everything
was in a haze of yellow
I did not
hear what was going on in the room
I had no
feelings and everything was mellow
Jesus had
his arms around me
He said
that everything will be OK
I
understood that this was meant to be
And there
on the bed I was to lay
I don’t
remember you leaving
My
thoughts were spinning as I lay there
Something
surely left my heart bleeding
What had
happened was not quite clear
I remember
feeling dirty
Not one
call did I make to you
Showers
and baths they must have been thirty
Confusing
thoughts was what I had of you
For you this
was not the only time
Once you
threw me over my furniture
It would
not be the last time
But this
time was your overture
My husband
I did tell
Bizarre he
thought it was
Leaving me
to live in hell
He said it
was a story I made up just because
I thought
that no one would believe me
You were
an ex- police officer
And so
your story would have more credibility
This was
certainly not the justice that I deserve
Two young
girls I was to raise
And for
them I was to be silent
The rest
of my life was a maze
Preachers
and Pastors and clergy I begged for my repent
They told
me that it was my fault
For it was
how I was dressed or what I was wearing
One told
me that I got a job outside the home and that was my fault
Because of
that I deserved what I was bearing
No one
understood me when I said No
Through a
glass I felt that I was shouting
How many
times should I have said “NO?”
I did not
dress the way they were recounting
It was the
end of fall
I was
wearing corduroy’s and a thick heavy sweater
Nothing revealing
that is all
I was
simply dressed for the weather.
I was not
dressed to share my goods
Three
times I said NO
Yet no one
has really understood
No one
would believe me you know
Everything
was not OK
My life
was changed by force
You didn’t
have a high price to pay
With you
there was no remorse
You took
my innocence and my trust
You shot
through my heart with your bow and arrow
So telling
my story is a must
Girls all
over the world are abused like this take a hard blow
Many girls
have their own stories that began when they said “No”
Some are
untold and in silent they live their lives
No doesn’t
mean yes, it means NO
You better
listen because most of us are not telling lies
Trust is
broken and she cannot reveal
Can’t you
hear me when I say “No”
So her
whole life there is something missing that she cannot feel
And her
words were disbelieved the moment that she said, “No”
This
happened a many a year
This woman
that I am still can’t believe
That there
is still the victim’s fear
In today’s
society, that has supposedly grown so, how can this still be?